Over the next few days, I'll be posting what I consider to be Six Keys to a Failed Relationship. If you follow these steps you should have a horrible relationship in no time! Or, (if you want, I guess) if you stay away from the bad things, it might actually help you.

Please note: by 'relationship' I mean something that has a chance of lasting- not 'relationship' as in the kind where you've known them for 3 hours, they're 7/8ths drunk, and you're 9/10ths desperate. These six steps are more than likely a surefire way to mess something good up; and if you've done all six and still somehow haven't lost the relationship, take a moment to wonder just why the other person is staying around (and why you're staying around in something obviously so flawed as well).

Part 01: Find someone really (really) stupid.
This one was just begging to be first, and I hate to tell you all this, but unfortunately if something of a relationship is going to last for more than a week (or a night), you've got to keep your mind in it. This doesn't work when the other side is lacking- try having a real conversation with a piece of toast and you'll get tired of it quickly (unless you've got some issues of your own).

I'm not sying that you need to find a true Mensa candidate either; your best bet is to find someone who is around an equal educational level as you, with similar experiences, and similar general opinions. The trick here is remembering that similar is not same. If you find someone who could be your twin, you'd probably have fun recording and listening to yourself. Differences- even minor ones- keep things exciting, or when not exciting at the very least acceptably non-boring.

- Your pal,
p1

Recent entries:
2005-10-02 - still gone
2005-02-03 - We've moved!
2005-01-30 - I'll take a #3 please
2005-01-26 - The Matrix Has You
2005-01-26 - Lowered standards.